America F*ck Yeah!!

   I love my country.  I love everything we do.  We glamorize all sorts of useless things.  From sporting events to dog shows.  There are people whose job is talking about what is in style and what is not.  We spend more on our pets than a lot of countries have for a gross domestic export.  Speaking of dogs we will willingly spend thousands of tax dollars to save a puppy from being stuck in a drainage pipe.  This type of news is front page in some places.  From the millions of fast food chains to the useless products that makes tons of money (I'm looking at you Shake-Weight!).  We are the land of the big time and the frivolous.  Me and my wife have actually argued about which place to eat at Quiznos or Subway.  They are the exact same!  I'm sure we are not the only ones that have argued about such stupid things here in America.  I have bought more food grocery shopping that was thrown away than eaten.  My love for wastefulness is truly American. And this is what makes us so great! That is what makes the rest of the world want to be us, and hate us at the same time.

   Today I saw a, what I believed to be Afghan man, learning to speak English. Now this stuck me in a way that I did not think would happen.  This is when I realized we are the greatest nation in the world.  This man was of no particular significance.  He was a worker cleaning restrooms, picking up trash, and all the jobs that us Americans would turn our nose at.  This man happily did his job making his meager earnings.  Then during his break he took to learning English.  At first I thought good for him.  But upon deeper thought, I still had half a smoke left to ponder this situation, I realized it was because America was the bees knees.  Think about it for a second.  How many languages do you know as a American?  Probably barley one.  Hell, I barley am coherent in English.  Other countries, such as Germany and Korea, have mandatory English classes coming up through school. We choose to take foreign languages as an elective class.  The only reason I took Spanish class was to have a cool ass Spanish name(Gustavo). But back to this guy learning English.  He probably will never make it to America. But he knows he is bettering his life by learning the most important language there is. Amurican!

   Also the whole situation came to me as to why other countries hate us so.  I came to the conclusion that they are jealous.  Think about it for a second.  The countries that hate us are generally the ones with nothing.  But can we not relate?  Think of the nicest, most generous person you know.   Now somewhere out there their is someone that despises that person more than anything.  They cant stand that persons stupid face, hates their size thirteen shoe, wonders why their Haggar slacks always look so clean, and most of all hates their meddling within the community. Granted the nice person might not like how you do things from time to time and decides to crash at your house for a bit to make sure you settle down, but hey nobody is perfect!  What I am trying to get at is we as a country don't try and learn Chinese or German or Russian because we don't need to.  Everyone else in the world is already trying to emulate us. They scramble to learn English so we don't have to learn their stupid language  The rest of the world looks to us for the answers.  It doesn't matter if we are wrong because we are so bad ass at things we will turn that wrong into a right. So go ahead and get the super size.  Go ahead and buy that gas guzzling SUV.  Hell we are using up the worlds oil before we use our own. We are living the dream.  Not only is it the "American Dream", but its the worlds dream as well.