Russian Pilots

   I have a job where I talk to pilots.  I guess you could say I "control" them while they are in the air.  What is strange is you can pretty much stereotype pilots by nationality.  This isn't really a bad thing.  For example American pilots will do damn near anything you say.  You tell them to turn into a giant mountain they will do it.  They don't sound to excited about it but they comply.  German pilots on the other hand will....well.....for lack of a better term are vagina's.  They are scaredy cats.  They think they know better and will not do something that they feel puts them in "unnecessary danger" such as fly over a city.  But I can relate I really can.  Your in the air and you want to feel safe and cozy.  But that brings me to Russian pilots.  Man alive do these guys have balls the size of grapefruits.  Their English comprehension is low.  Their ability to speak it is even lower.  Now let me say that English is the only language usable by the FAA and ICAO.  If those acronyms mean nothing to you don't fret its not really that important to the rest of this story.  These guys will be in the air in the crustiest of aircraft's.  Such as Mi-8, AN-12, AN-24, and IL-76 just to name a few.  The visibility will be practically zero.  These guys will call up and tell me they are twenty miles when they are actually fifty miles out and say this "Gear down ready to land" all while sounding like Ivan Drago from Rocky IV.  It is an amazing thing.  I think a few of the guys have been faced drunk while I have talked to them.  You can barley see the runway they land park in front of you. Maybe its just me who finds this funny because I have to deal with them. But they get out of their aircraft and look like this so you be the judge.

 His name is Nikola and he likes to party