Cursing

   Nobody is perfect.  By any stretch of the imagination.  Everyone makes mistakes.  And when you make a mistake what is the first thing that you say?  Nine times out of ten is probably a curse word.  I do it still and so does almost everyone else.  You may be wondering why in the heck is he talking about cursing.  Then your mind goes to "oh I know why its because he is a F-ing fag!!"  Well thats not true and Judas Priest is that hateful. You don't even know me you coc...See I almost started to swear right there!  Let me explain.  Since I was a little boy knocking out the nastiest, most vulgar, and down right offensive curse words has been my way of life.  I have always had the composure to not curse in front of teachers, family, holy ghosts, and what have you.  But as I have grown through my years I started to listen more than talk.  Plus its a lot cooler to be the quite person as opposed to the raging douche that wont shut up.  Well as I was crafting my skill at being cool and calm.  I noticed everyone cursing and saying basically the same stuff I have been saying for a long time.  Then it donned on me.  We sound like uneducated marsupial butt-holes when we use swear words in our casual conversations.  Granted this is only my opinion but I didn't like it one bit.  I thought I am better than this and I will not sound like Corky from the TV show "Life Goes On."  (If you don't know what I was referring to Google it you will be pleasantly surprised)  Plus I have kids now and I have to try and set a good example.  Now don't get me wrong.  I still rattle them off like a British porn star, but I have learned to pick and choose where my foul language shows up.  And I was pleasantly surprised on how my vocabulary started  to improve.

I'd Google it for you because I know your lazy

ATC

   I am a Air Traffic Control Specialist according to my job description.  I love my job I really do.  I have had many a job before this.  From being a sandwich artist at Subway to building aircraft at a huge industrial plant.  But every job has its down falls. The things that drive me crazy about my job are as thus. Doing ATC is not my main job.  Being in the military your main job is "do what I tell you" to do.  From filling sand bags to digging ditches that is the main job of the military.  Granted you will not always be doing that kinda stuff.  But eventually the time will come for you to do the stuff people turn down jobs because of.  But anyways.  Some of the things that drive me crazy is training new people.  Maybe its because I am quite possibly the greatest ever at my job (or so I think).  But what drives me crazy about it is their complete lack of knowledge of the local area.  They don't know our sectors, our departure procedures, our air field layout and our instrument approaches.  If that last sentence sounded like Greek then just wait.  When I try and explain the ILS procedures to some guys they look at me like I have down syndrome.  I try and explain VOR procedures I get the same treatment.  But its ok, I can handle it. Approach plates are kinda difficult to understand  But most of all what drives me crazy is people approving things with out even knowing what they are approving.  Example, a helicopter asks for a roll on landing to the primary runway and the trainee controller approves it without even knowing what they just approved.  That is the kinda stuff that can get you into some serious trouble.  But hey what so I know right?!?! Im the jerk that has to yell at someone for it.  And I am the one that gets into trouble if something bad happens.  But all in all I can deal with damn near anything that gets thrown at me.  And that is one heck of a feeling of accomplishment.  But the next time you are flying just think that its not completely the pilot who has complete control of what the plane does.  The aircraft climbs and descends, turns and avoids because of what we say....

Don't you feel safer?

Album Art I like

Very underrated band

One of my all time fav bands (totally want that kid tattooed on my calf)

Quite epic

Because when your a Big Bear you can do things

Nerd at heart

   I was thinking about my interests for a while after I finished writing my hobbies post.  I am totally a nerd.  I am proud of it.  I enjoy reading reviews about cell phones. Even though I don't even own one.  I like reading about the newest processors; granted I don't know anything about them.  I am a collector.  I still prefer to buy actual CD's over downloading music.  I recently discovered that like to read.  I know I know reading right!  I use to be the guy who said "Why you trying to read that word on that sign? Are you gay or something?"  But look at me now.  I am a regular Read McReaderton.  The last book that really tickled my fancy is John Dies at the End by David Wong.  Awesome book.  Everyone should check it out. And supposedly they are making a movie about it.  Wicked cool for me! Oh I really have a thing for the Predator movies.  I don't know why; I think its a cool concept.  I am really about to drop a bomb here.  I like Star Trek better than Star Wars.  Lame right?!?  It more organized to me if that makes any sense.  I love me some campy horror movies.  "Teeth" was a cool one.  Also there is this Japanese movie I believe called "Dumplings"  freaking awesome as well.  I have been kinda out of the loop for a while now.  I just watched the "Walking Dead" for the first time the other day.  I almost cried it was so bad arsed.  I love me some zombies.  I always have a plan of action for when the Zombie Apocalypse begins.  I am talking every situation.  If I am in a store I make a plan of action for escape.  I am a total nerd at heart and its freaking sweet!

I know I am

Hobbies

   I hear people talk about their hobbies with extrema enthusiasm.  People talk of how they much they love their hobby.  Things like  fast cars, hopscotch, cosplay, and drinking till they black out.  I am jealous of all these people and things they love.  See I am a very boring, flaky, and disinterested person.  Don't get me wrong I enjoy many things, but none of which I can truly consider a hobby.  I have tried to gain many a hobby. If I was to try and explain the stuff I think is neato or radical it would be the "nerdier" side of things. So I try and stick to things of the such.  I tried to play WoW, because I have heard of so SO many people whom obsess over this game.  And me being the open minded individual that I am decided that over ten million people might be on to something.  Well I gave it a try.  Ehh it was OK.  I couldn't really get into it and I also got banned for something rather quickly.  I will not get to into the details but apparently buying things from a shady *Chinaman in the game is wrong. (*he was from China and thus it is not a racist term)  Anyways that didn't work out.  What else have I tried to get into.  Comic books.  I know what your thinking "This guy tried to play WoW and get into comic books!?!?! What a douche!!!"  Well I really can't argue.  But I got more into the collection side of it and was trying to just acquire valuable ones.  But I fizzled and got board on that endeavor as well.  I just don't have what it takes to really be gung-ho about something.  But don't fret for me, for I have realized long ago that I don't have the attention span or the desire to learn all the ins and outs of any interest.  Maybe my true hobby is apathy? 

I am so jealous

The Castration

   My family has gotten big.  I just realized it.  Kinda sad when you only realize it when your a year into your daughters life and three into your sons. But anyways this realization of events that came much too late in my mind also opened up a can of worms.  I need a new vehicle.  And I hate to say it but a minivan might be the only way to go.  See how I whispered the word minivan?  I don't even want to say it out loud.  Why is it that when you are younger you say to yourself  "I will never get a stupid minivan, I will be a billionaire cowboy with a PHD in being an astronaut!"  Well none of those career paths worked out for me.  So the only real choices I have are as follows: minivan or a huge SUV that I can only afford to keep at 1/8th of a tank.  And that would still cost me $138!  So it looks like I might have to finally grow up a little bit and take one for the only team that matters anymore.  And do the prudent thing.......and........and........get a minivan.

maybe not all vans are lame.....

Russian Pilots

   I have a job where I talk to pilots.  I guess you could say I "control" them while they are in the air.  What is strange is you can pretty much stereotype pilots by nationality.  This isn't really a bad thing.  For example American pilots will do damn near anything you say.  You tell them to turn into a giant mountain they will do it.  They don't sound to excited about it but they comply.  German pilots on the other hand will....well.....for lack of a better term are vagina's.  They are scaredy cats.  They think they know better and will not do something that they feel puts them in "unnecessary danger" such as fly over a city.  But I can relate I really can.  Your in the air and you want to feel safe and cozy.  But that brings me to Russian pilots.  Man alive do these guys have balls the size of grapefruits.  Their English comprehension is low.  Their ability to speak it is even lower.  Now let me say that English is the only language usable by the FAA and ICAO.  If those acronyms mean nothing to you don't fret its not really that important to the rest of this story.  These guys will be in the air in the crustiest of aircraft's.  Such as Mi-8, AN-12, AN-24, and IL-76 just to name a few.  The visibility will be practically zero.  These guys will call up and tell me they are twenty miles when they are actually fifty miles out and say this "Gear down ready to land" all while sounding like Ivan Drago from Rocky IV.  It is an amazing thing.  I think a few of the guys have been faced drunk while I have talked to them.  You can barley see the runway they land park in front of you. Maybe its just me who finds this funny because I have to deal with them. But they get out of their aircraft and look like this so you be the judge.

 His name is Nikola and he likes to party

Wrestling is funny

*this picture made me laugh out loud for reals

Things to be grateful for...

   I am a grateful guy.  No fooling.  I have lots of things to be grateful about.  Such as my wife and kids. My robot Xnathu.  Lots of things, but these are a few of the things that get overlooked in life which is a shame.  Things such as.....

1. Memory foam
2. Spagetti
3. Brand new socks 
4. The smell of a newly open CD
5. Pinapples
6. Other people falling down
7. Milwaukee's Beast Light
8. Duty free cigarettes
9. Bacon 

 *not this Bacon

 

But Before I go....

   I eat at the same cafeteria everyday for every meal.  Breakfast.  Lunch.  Dinner.  I don't want to sound like I am ungrateful for having food everyday to eat, but man alive am I tired of having the same freaking food everyday.  We get served a variety of foods through out the week.  But they all seem to have the same taste.  I have had steak that tastes like chicken.  Smashed potatoes that tastes like rice.  Its just starting to ware on me.  Actually its been waring on me for a long time now, but this is the first time I have ever complained about it on here.  Let me describe what this food tastes like.  Now its not gross by any means.  But have you ever eaten at a gas station?  That is what this food is like.  Now imagine eating at the same Fina station for every meal for a whole year.  Doesn't sound so appealing anymore does it.

Missouri Fina you suck

Im back with little vengeance

   Ok well I have been working myself to the bizone.  Is that what the kids are saying now days?  Anywho I have only a few weeks left in this hell hole of a place I am in.  I will keep this one short and sweet.  I am going to bed.

Internet Outage

Had an internet outage.  Have not been able to update past couple of days due to the internet being out.  That and working the crazy shifts.  Will update with Pulitzer Prize wining blogs as soon as able.  Stand by.......

Thank You Cleveland!

   I love music. As I have stated before.  It has a magical feeling to it.  If you have ever gotten goose bumps from a song or a guitar riff or a drum beat then you understand what I am talking about.  Everyone goes through stages in music.  Some embarrassing, ICP for example, is my shame.  Not that there is something wrong if that is your favorite *cough* band. To each their own. I am currently established in a holding of metal.  Been there a while now.  Will probably remain there for some time.  Enjoyment of music comes down to the end user of the product.  With that being said, I have wanted to compile a list of some of the concerts I have been to.  Granted this is not a conclusive list.  I can not remember all the bands I have seen.  This is just a highlight reel of concerts.  If you have never been to a concert to see your favorite artist or band you owe it to yourself to pony up the cash and go.  You will not regret it!

1. Bad Religion
2. Slayer
3. Ronnie J. Dio
4. Iron Maiden
5. Gwar
6. Black Sabbath
7. Danzig
8. Pantera
9. Kiss
10. Cannible Corpse

as my brother once said "Music is like assholes all of it stinks!" 

Smell of Greatness

   Forgive me for being crude.  I will try not to make a habit of it.  But why is it that your own "odors" has a, for lack of a better term, air of sweetness to it?  When you fart or burp or anything in between you enjoy the smell of it.  No trying to deny it.  Everyone does it.  From the loneliest of the peasants to the lord of the manor himself secretly enjoys their own repugnance.  But why is that? Maybe its one of our basic animal instincts.  Maybe we subconsciously realize that is our smell and there for we don't find it as disgusting.  I don't know just a thought

My Apologizes

   I am sorry.  I really am.  I have not been truthful with you.  I have not been telling you everything that has been on my mind.  I should be telling you about everything that enters my mind.  Regardless of whatever it is.  Whether it a small post about my favorite part of a rooster (the flap on the head). Or an epic reconstruction of the economic conditions of the upper lower class of the Hyberian rule before King Conan took the reign. Basically what I am getting at is the flood gates are now open.

 its called the "comb"

The endless debate....

   I have always been a Windows kinda guy.  I have dabbled in the black arts of Mac once before. I enjoyed both OS' totally.  Windows has everything at it fingertips.  Mac has ease of use.  I don't play lots of games so its not all that important for me  But I am at a loss for which platform is best for me.  On one hand I like to tinker with the machine to "increase" performance.  On the other hand my tinkering has destroyed both kinds of machines.  I am not a very computer literate guy.  I would like to be, but it is far too technical for me.  I have the basic understanding of how to put together, install programs, and totally destroy the machine.  I once deleted all the operating files on both a Mac and PC.  I think I am leaning toward getting a new computer in the up coming future.  Which OS should I get?

America F*ck Yeah!!

   I love my country.  I love everything we do.  We glamorize all sorts of useless things.  From sporting events to dog shows.  There are people whose job is talking about what is in style and what is not.  We spend more on our pets than a lot of countries have for a gross domestic export.  Speaking of dogs we will willingly spend thousands of tax dollars to save a puppy from being stuck in a drainage pipe.  This type of news is front page in some places.  From the millions of fast food chains to the useless products that makes tons of money (I'm looking at you Shake-Weight!).  We are the land of the big time and the frivolous.  Me and my wife have actually argued about which place to eat at Quiznos or Subway.  They are the exact same!  I'm sure we are not the only ones that have argued about such stupid things here in America.  I have bought more food grocery shopping that was thrown away than eaten.  My love for wastefulness is truly American. And this is what makes us so great! That is what makes the rest of the world want to be us, and hate us at the same time.

   Today I saw a, what I believed to be Afghan man, learning to speak English. Now this stuck me in a way that I did not think would happen.  This is when I realized we are the greatest nation in the world.  This man was of no particular significance.  He was a worker cleaning restrooms, picking up trash, and all the jobs that us Americans would turn our nose at.  This man happily did his job making his meager earnings.  Then during his break he took to learning English.  At first I thought good for him.  But upon deeper thought, I still had half a smoke left to ponder this situation, I realized it was because America was the bees knees.  Think about it for a second.  How many languages do you know as a American?  Probably barley one.  Hell, I barley am coherent in English.  Other countries, such as Germany and Korea, have mandatory English classes coming up through school. We choose to take foreign languages as an elective class.  The only reason I took Spanish class was to have a cool ass Spanish name(Gustavo). But back to this guy learning English.  He probably will never make it to America. But he knows he is bettering his life by learning the most important language there is. Amurican!

   Also the whole situation came to me as to why other countries hate us so.  I came to the conclusion that they are jealous.  Think about it for a second.  The countries that hate us are generally the ones with nothing.  But can we not relate?  Think of the nicest, most generous person you know.   Now somewhere out there their is someone that despises that person more than anything.  They cant stand that persons stupid face, hates their size thirteen shoe, wonders why their Haggar slacks always look so clean, and most of all hates their meddling within the community. Granted the nice person might not like how you do things from time to time and decides to crash at your house for a bit to make sure you settle down, but hey nobody is perfect!  What I am trying to get at is we as a country don't try and learn Chinese or German or Russian because we don't need to.  Everyone else in the world is already trying to emulate us. They scramble to learn English so we don't have to learn their stupid language  The rest of the world looks to us for the answers.  It doesn't matter if we are wrong because we are so bad ass at things we will turn that wrong into a right. So go ahead and get the super size.  Go ahead and buy that gas guzzling SUV.  Hell we are using up the worlds oil before we use our own. We are living the dream.  Not only is it the "American Dream", but its the worlds dream as well.

Random Though......

   I was in the store today buying the necessities (smokes and a Mountain Dew).  And I saw this dumpy looking white girl with cornrows in her hair. She looked freaking retarded. To all the white girls who have read or are going to read my blog.  DO NOT DO IT! YOU WILL LOOK STUPID! In the past year alone I have witnessed this debauchery of a trend first hand numerous times. It makes you look like the kinda girl whose step father, picture Jenny's father from Forrest Gump, would not even touch. This is just a public warning.

This is you, pay heed.

The Radio

   I like me some music.  From the smooth jazz offerings of Cannibal Corpse to the screaming death ballads of The Black Keys.  I generally enjoy most musical offerings that don't suck. Now I have heard some say that the music industry is doomed.  From illegal downloading to putting out unoriginal music that all sounds the same.  Now I can agree on both accounts.  But what I think really is killing the music industry is the radio.  With the exception of a few public access stations (89.3 KNON in the DFW area is awesome) its basically the same radio station from coast to coast.  If you listen to, lets say a rock station, in New York then  travel to California I can almost guarantee that the station will have the same songs, same sounding host, and same dribble we hear in Texas.  That is just retarded.  Why are you playing the same song across the country three times in the same hour?  Its the lack of musical availability to the masses that is killing music.  People want to hear something new or unheard of.  One of the best feelings is finding out about a band that rocks your dick off before they make it big and change their sound to be better tailored for mass consumption.  Maybe this is just me thinking this but if the powers that be would just put up more of a musical offering on their stations then maybe it would not be so bad for them and us after all.

Half alseep

   Is it just me or when you start to fall asleep the strangest of thoughts enter your mind?  Like totally random and ridiculous half sleep dreams?  I was dozing off to sleep at work.  Just like any good worker would.  And my thoughts went to me renting out a house or apartment or something of the such.  Me being worried that this abode did not have enough space for all the belongings for the people I was renting.  The people I was renting to was the family of a guy that I work with.  Well because of the limited space in the dwelling that was being offered I worried about getting my e-mails.  See this place had so little room that all the digital space for my personal emails was even used up.  You understand?  Physical and computer internet storage was the same.  So I thought that if the laptop was in the oven that all this could be resolved.  The only other thing is they needed to print off my emails while it was in the oven and mail them to me.  Through the actual mail.  This made complete and total sense when I was drifting off to sleep.  But only when I heard someone talk in the real world that I snapped out of that half sleep.

*exactally like this only completely diffrent

Finer things in life

   I enjoy the simple things.  I love smoking Marlboro Reds, drinking cheap beer and day dreaming.  I enjoy day dreaming the most of anything I do.  It is truly my favorite and probably only hobby.  I think what it would be like to win the lotto, fight a flying bear, punch that guy in the testicles that ruins the end of movie you really want to see, or basically anything that makes life more pleasant.  But I don't know if its just me or my day dreaming has gotten so elaborate that it kinda takes some of the fun out of it.  For example the get a bunch of money fantasy is pretty much my go to from the spank bank.  But even in my dazes of hypothetical absurdity I still pay bills and argue with the wife about frivolous purchases.  Yes you read cor-rectally I argue with my wife in my fantasy.  Example, fuel prices continue to climb, but I am still worried in fantasy land about fuel mileage.  Instead of thinking I am going buy a dragon that is powered cocaine.  I'm debating driving a Prius or a TDI VW.  Maybe I am just getting older, or getting wiser with money, or just a giant douche bag (I am leaning towards the latter).  Which ever it is none of it will change for me.  I will still be bickering in dream land about the price of grapes per pound with my 12 month sober dragon buddy who smells of coffee and cigarettes.

Pomp and Circumstance

  The passing of the great "Macho Man" Randy Savage was taken hard by those with Slim Jim's in their belly.  Who can forget the "Ooh yeah!" and his "Pomp and Circumstance" ring entrance. I was not a fan of wrastlin, but I remember friends of mine talking about the going ons' of the wrastlin world with true conviction that this was real.  This was the first soap opera for guys.  But what really freaked me out is when I started to look around at all the different wrastlers of that era.  These guys personal lives were much MUCH more intresting than what was going on in the ring.  But that is neither here nor there. But anyways its always a shame when someone that you remember from your childhood has a heart attack and crashes into a tree.  I'm sad we will not get the follow up to Savages' "Be A Man" rap album. 

I like my Mustache

   I grew a mustache kinda for a joke about half way into my oversea tour.  I cut it off before I came home for the two week cock tease of a vacation I am allowed.  I didn't think much of it when I cut it off, but my wife asked me to grow it back for when I come home. For reasons unknown to me why she would want me to.  Because honestly who thinks a mustache is sexy?  The only people in the world who have ever gotten mustaches to work for them are as followed:

• The Amish

• Teddy Roosevelt

• Ned Flanders

• Freddie Mercury

• George Parros (Google it)

• Ron Burgundy 

• Every black man ever

 I figured why not.  So I started to grow it back.  Well let me tell you that me and facial hair don't tend to get along. The hair grows on my face like a mange ridden cat.  Sporadically.  I have a large gap in between the seven hairs I have on the side of my face and my starting to thin head hair. But i digress.  Well seeing how in my job field we are only allowed to grow 'staches.  Lucky for me this is the one of the things that actually grows in completely.  The other that grows in fully is the most bad ass of throat hair.  Well my 'stache isn't thick just complete. But anywho I was looking in the mirror on the way to work and I think it might work for me.  I think I might keep it for some time now.  I will now embrace my growing hair of straight sex from my upper lip.

 * on a side not Martin Van Buren had the most wicked burns in the history of history

Random thought.....

  I was thinking about the cinema classic Preditor.  Do you rember what Jesse "The Body" Ventura who plaid Blain actually looked like in the movie?  The dude was a beast. Quite possibly cooler than Dutch (Arnold Schwarzenegger).  I mean listen to these movie quote

• Blain: Bunch of slack-jawed faggots around here. This stuff will make you a god damned sexual Tyrannosaurus, just like me.
  Poncho: [holds up his grenade launcher] Yeah, strap this on your "sore ass", Blain.
• Poncho: You're bleeding, man. You're hit.
  Blain: I ain't got time to bleed.
  Poncho: [Confused] Oh... Okay...
  Poncho: [Poncho shoots a bunch of grenades up to the top of the cliff] You got time to duck?

   I mean seriously that is the awesomeist thing I have ever heard! But have you seen him lately? Oh how the mighty have fallen.



This is all new to me....

   Let me start off by saying I don't like Thomas Alva Edison.  I have no reason for this.  I like light bulbs just like the next guy.  But for some reason the guy rubs me the wrong way.  He once told Nikola Tesla that he would pay him lots of money to fix the problems he had with Direct Current, aka DC, (for the dummies) and he never did pay.  Not that I really care or anything, but you know it gives me a reason.  Instead of me saying "I just don't like the douche!"

   But enough of that.  I basically just want a place that I can vent about anything.  You really cant do that on facebook lest you look like a huge tool.  I want a place that I can talk about the things that bother me, things that piss me off, and even things I like.  I really don't like to write a whole lot usually.  I actually draw more penis' on the bathroom wall than write but sometimes it just comes out.  This is basically the reason I started this blog in the first place is to talk about what ever I want. Maybe along the way someone stumbles along my rantings, run on sentences, horrible grammar, miss spelled words (even with spell check), horrible descriptions, incoherent ramblings and gets a laugh or thinks I feel the same way.  But I expect more people to say that I am stupid and am not funny. A year from now I hope to have had six people read this, because if you don't shoot high it makes failure look that much more sad.

   A little about myself.  Lets see where to begin.  I am towards the end of a deployment overseas.  I have about one month left in a year long stint.  Lets just say that blue balls don't even begin to describe my state right now.  I have about as much patience as a ten year old with ADHD.  Everything is really pissing me off.  Like this computer for one.  It is a German computer OK, the Y and Z are switched and the button for the A is missing.  Is that even what its called ? A button? And what the hell is this ß?  Is it some kinda fancy B? Or this Ö?  This is the surprised face for when you find out Santa is just your drunk dad. Thank god I have a great wife at home who has really helped me through this whole "miss a year of everything" phase of my life.  I have some kids.  I lost count of them at one.  They are awesome as well.  They made this whole year go by even easier.  (Did the sarcasm come through in my typing?) But enough about them.  I have been sleeping in a tent with about ten or so other guy.  It really is as wonderful as you would think.  But the tent I stayed in actually had it good.  We only had ten.  But like I said the time is almost over.  Lets see I enjoy death metal, but at the same time I don't.  Does that make any sense?  I hate onion only sometimes.  Hot dogs disgust me except when they are delicious.  If any of this doesn't make any sense welcome to my life.  My life is like that of the English language that I have so masterfully mastered good like, so many exceptions to the rules.  I think this is all I can come up with at this time.  But expect lots of writing from me for like a week or so or none at all.  Who know.  Then I'll get really into plant erotica and lose interest in this all together.  Until next time..........